My Foray Into Return of Kings

There's this awful website that was created a couple months ago for men who take "the red pill." If this concept is foreign to you, you're extremely lucky. It's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about, mostly because it makes my blood boil. The men on Return of Kings write such thoughtful articles as, "Why You Should Date a Woman with an Eating Disorder" (one reason is because she's vulnerable, another reason because "crazy chicks" are amazing at sex), "How Women Train Men to Rape" (yes you read that correctly) and "When Her No Means Yes." There are other articles on there about other stupid things like how women with short hair are damaged, that women over 30 who are unmarried are "damaged goods," etc. The latter are just opinion pieces that haven't been thought out--I mean if you really think women with short hair are damaged, do your thing bro. But what I take issue with is that this website is actually condoning violence against women--and in a very narrow-minded and ridiculous way. There is no thought process here--it's all "Man Good and Deserving--Woman Stupid and Man's Possession."

Return of Kings has several core beliefs listed on their website. Here they are, lifted directly from their site on the day this was published:

ROK Community Beliefs:

1. Men and women are genetically different, both physically and mentally. Sex roles evolved in all mammals. Humans are not exempt.
2. Women are sluts if they sleep around, but men are not. This fact is due to the biological differences between men and women.
3. Men will opt out of monogamy and reproduction if there are no incentives to engage in them.
4. Past traditions and rituals that evolved alongside humanity served a net benefit to the family unit.
5. Testosterone is the biological cause for masculinity. Environmental changes that reduce the hormone’s concentration in men will cause them to be weaker and more feminine.
6. A woman’s value is mainly determined by her fertility and beauty. A man’s value is mainly determined by his resources, intellect, and character.
7. Elimination of traditional gender roles and the promotion of unlimited mating choice in women unleashes their promiscuity and other negative behaviors that block family formation.
8. Socialism, feminism, and cultural Marxism cause societies to decline because they destroy the family unit, decrease the fertility rate, and require large entitlements that impoverish the state.

Somehow, a declining fertility rate is going to impoverish the state....even though overpopulation is a growing problem. But of course, that is just one flaw in their "logic."

While we all know this is awful, this blog entry is about the time I spent in the company of such lovely "men." First and foremost, yes I am a feminist. Secondly, I am straight. Thirdly, neither of these things means I hate men. I dislike specific men for their actions, but similarly I dislike specific women for their actions.

At any rate, I engaged with them over the topic of how many times women say no to men when they mean yes. I asserted that I have never said no when I meant yes, but this was met with "Of course, all women will say that on the Internet. In real life, women do this all the time. This is part of the courting process." Really? I mean, I did go to an all-girls school and I admit that totally delayed my ability to date like an adult for a while, but I don't think I'm that far behind. If I say no, I mean no. If I say yes, I mean yes. It's really not rocket science.

I was then told that my assertion that I don't say no when I mean yes means I am either lying or ugly and men are not interested in sleeping with me in the first place. Well, I know I'm not lying and ugliness is subjective--but this is a flawed logic by someone who has absolutely no idea what I look like. I was told if I wasn't ugly and fat, then I was the only non-ugly, not-fat woman to not do these things. Experience will tell me otherwise, but here's a charming response:

"The girls posting here all seem to think they are actually attractive enough that somebody would wanna $%&$  them in the first place.
Girls, dont worry. With your looks, plus the fact - that you have to post snark here on RoK...
You have nothing to worry about."

Yeah sounds about right. 

One of the things that disturbed me about this article is that persistence gets you what you want. Firstly, that reeks of entitlement. If you bother a woman enough, she will sleep with you, evidently--according to this logic. Honestly, in my dating experience, a man's persistence after I have said no is usually grating and totally annoying and makes it even less likely that I will want to date him. Perhaps I will say no initially and change my mind over time if he respects me, but dogged persistence comes off as desperation--especially in the realm of one night stands (which is evidently what this article is discussing). If I say no to going home in a cab to your place, etc. and you keep pressuring me, that tells me you think you have a right to sleep with me, which is totally appalling. According to Return of Kings, men do have that right.

Another silly point this site often makes is insinuating that non-thin, non-beautiful women have no purpose in life since most men don't find them attractive. Despite the obvious idiocy of this, they are ignoring the fact that there are men (maybe not most, but a significant number) that do enjoy larger women. That is completely negating their taste and making it so men are only allowed to pursue women of a certain mold, which in turn, is damaging to men who feel they cannot seek out and be attracted to the women they are really attracted to. When I brought this up in the comments, I was told I was likely ugly. Thanks for that thought provoking response, mate!

The last concept that bothered me about this is that in some of the comments, it was stated that a woman should not go to a man's house alone if she doesn't intend on sleeping with him. As someone who has many male friends (all of whom I trust not to rape me), this is absolutely ridiculous. It's as though they are stating that women owe men something. In turn, they are stereotyping themselves, saying that men are so primal that they cannot control their own urges. Not only do they deserve sex, but they cannot hold back. I find that insulting to men as well as women.

What have I learned from Return of Kings? Mostly that I am fat and ugly (according to my opinions, not by what I actually look like), that men all think only one type of woman is attractive, men deserve sex even if a woman doesn't want to engage in it and men are unable to hold back their urges.


Thankfully they appear to be a fringe group, and I'm halfway convinced a lot of this is just to garner more views to their blog, aka more money for their "cause." 

Unravelled Giveaway!

Enter to win my new book! 5 books to give away from Goodreads!

"No one heard us. They decided not to, to turn their heads away. It was too much to bear. Too much to know. Too hard to swallow. But now that the world knows, now that the world has heard, it all seems so simple, so easy to defray.

I screamed and no one heard.

Next time, will you be listening?"

Aliz and her twin sister, Hajna, are enjoying their playful, carefree and comfortable life with their parents in Szeged, Hungary just before the Nazis invade. Seemingly overnight, their lives change drastically as they are transported to the ghetto on the outskirts of the city and then to Auschwitz to be used in Mengele's deadly experiments. After several months of brutal torture, Aliz is liberated to find that she is the only survivor in her family. At not even 11 years old, Aliz must make the journey to San Francisco alone, an entire world away from everything she's known, in order to live with her only known relatives whom she has never met-- a depressed aunt and teenage cousin who is more than ready to escape her mother's melancholy. Told through the eyes of both Aliz and her cousin Isabelle, Unravelled tells a story of survival, hope, family and the lives war and genocide haunt long after liberation.

Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Level 1 Complete! Day 10 Results/Progress So Far

I've finally finished level 1! It gets so much easier as you condition yourself and I've got some results photos.


Abs Day 4 (Starting Point)
Abs Day 10
Abs Day 4 (Starting Point)

Abs Day 10


Left Arm Day 4 Starting Point
Left Arm Day 10
Right Arm Day 4

Right Arm Day 10
My arms actually look bigger to be, but more toned. And I look pasty as heck!

I've been doing this in conjunction with monitoring my calories on Looking at these pictures I'm actually pretty astonished with the results so far and am going to keep going. Definitely worth it.

SensatioNails Gel Nails!

I fell in love with gel nails in February 2013 after wearing them in a friend's wedding. My number one pet peeve with having painted nails is when they chip. Like, I literally cannot stand them--it's a total old lady pet peeve. And don't get me started on chipped TOE nail polish. Like--girl, really?

But gels aren't in the UK they can set you back £30 at a time. The US is cheaper, at $25-$30 a pop, but I find my nails grow pretty quickly and if I want my gels to look their best, I'd need to be going in twice a month. $60 or £60, that's basically more than my iPhone bill a month. And since I don't have access to unlimited funds (sadly), it's a no go.

So I bit the bullet and purchased a SensatioNail system. So far, I love it. It comes with a nail cleaner, primer, top coat and two colors (one sample size and one full size). Luckily, you don't need much...a very small amount goes a very long way. I learned that the hard way when I packed on a bit too much, making it appear as though I had goop all over my nails.

The Led Lamp. It also makes your teeth and white clothes glow!

Everything you get

They're relatively easy to remove as well. I just filed over the top of them and then pushed them off with an orange stick. I soaked them in Acetone for a few minutes to get all the excess off and I was ready for a fresh manicure.

The whole system set me back £70, plus another £15 for a new color and £10 for some more cleanser. about £100 that's three or four gels done professionally. After that it will start to pay for itself and actually save quite a bit in the long run.

The final product in Raspberry Wine
I will keep you updated on how long they last!

Spot Treatment

While I have been blessed to be from a long line of women who look nowhere near their age, this delay in developing fine lines and wrinkles doesn't come without a price. At near 30, I still get spots and pimples every so often. I don't have any magic solution or  elixir that will rid you of spots forever  or take them away instantly, but I do have and tried and true trick I learned in the sixth grade for drying out pimples and helping them heal faster.

Gross pimple photos ahead...I think you can handle it.

Firstly, you will need toothpaste (any is fine) and some sort of toner/cleaner. I've been using Clean & Clear since I was like 11, but you can use whatever works for you.

 Obviously you should clean your face and get all of your make-up off using whatever method your normally do. Give it a once over with your toner.
 Now....apply the toothpaste! Leave it on overnight or at least several hours. It may sting a bit, but you're tough. You can handle it.
 Cleanse off the next morning either in the shower or with a warm wash cloth/flannel. It doesn't erase the pimples instantly, but they sure are a lot drier and on their way to healing up.
Currently listening to: Cold War by Janelle Monae

Unravelled--My New Book!

I am very excited to announce that I will be self-publishing a book entitled Unravelled later on this week. I wrote this particular book several years ago and it has been gathering proverbial dust on my computer ever since while I turn my attention to other books and matters.

More information will be made available later on this week. The book will be sold on iBooks, Kindle and Paperback platforms. You can see a little preview here.

Here's a sneak peek of the cover.
 I'm using the work of a beautiful Dutch photographer called Tanneke Peetoom. Her work is breath-taking and I'm honored to have it as my cover.

My 2013 in 8 Minutes

I did the one second a day video challenge in 2013 and am going forward with it for 2014. Just thought I'd put this on my blog so you all can see it if you haven't!

Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred

Late 2013 saw lots of very positive changes in my life, but I had one really big drawback: the lupus in body decided to get stuck on kidney infections and play them over and over like a broken record (I guess this is slightly better than in 2006 when it was stuck on sinusitis). I've been on and off antibiotics since July 2013 (it struck at a most unfortunate time--when I was at a Fellowship in Paris making it difficult for me to fully enjoy my three weeks there and making me painfully aware that most of my French that I don't use for historical data is pretty much lost) and it's contributed to a serious lack of fitness. It also didn't really help that around that time I started dating my boyfriend who is 6'5 and can eat for days and never gain weight or that I also became good friends with two of his best male friends who are both over 6' tall and are also able to pack away a ton of calories without it ever showing. This lead to a lethal (well, in terms of fitness!) combination of both lying around because I generally felt ill and when I was feeling better, packing in bazillions of calories while hanging out with these lovely lads at Nando's, KFC, McDonald's and the like. I really wasn't doing myself any favors.

One way lupus has really affected my life (although I've had it for nearly 1/3 of it now, which is absolutely nuts to think) is that I used to be quite active in both drama and dance. Although I've transferred my love of drama to writing, academia and arts consulting, my previous love of dance has fallen by the wayside. Up until I was about 14, I studied classical ballet intensively (although my non naturally anorexic looking body would have culled me from that career immediately). When I dropped that due to both my giant boobs and budding love of drama, I took up Irish step dancing and started competing locally (no, nothing crazy like a fake tan, orange and brown neon dress, two Shirley Temple wigs and flying to Dublin bi-annually to try to shred the competition by almost breaking my ankle with rocks and jumping higher than your head). I kept that up for a while and did it as a hobby for a bit in college (uni for the Brits), but as my joints because to ache, especially my knees (which are my most affected joint), I had to stop.

Since then, I've gone to the gym on and off, off when I'm ill, on when I've got energy. I'm actually one of those people who loves a good workout but when you're sick for months on end it's pretty easy to just pull the covers up and sleep (and justify popping those extra calories in somehow!).

When I went home to the US for Christmas, I discovered I was the heaviest I had ever been. Apparently, this was only noticeable to myself because when I mentioned my weight gain to people I know would point that crap out, they were very surprised. But I decided no more excuses, I'm going to lose weight and get into amazing shape. I also have a conference in Yalta this May I'm attending, and while the purpose is to talk about genocide and memory, I also want to prance around the hotel and on the beach in bikini and actually not be self-conscious.

I've lost the majority of the weight I've put on through good old fashioned dieting and calorie watching (shout out to MyFitnessPal!), but I'm still aiming to lose a bit more and get into better shape. The gym I'm going to be joining here doesn't open til next month so I've decided to strike out on my own. I did a whole bunch of Wii Fit at my parents' house, but without a Wii here, I've had to go in blind. I'd heard of the Jillian Michael's program but hadn't really looked into it seriously. I did Level 1 for a quick way to burn a ridiculous amount of calories using unopened Bath and Body Works three wick candles as weights and then decided to stick with it. I sucked it up and went to Tesco, purchased some actual weights and a yoga mat and am now actually going to do the whole 30 day program.

It's not an easy workout at first, but you will get there if you put your mind to it.

So I'll shame myself by showing you how my body looks at Day 4 (it may actually take me longer than 30 days because I am still having kidney infections and I'm not about to Shred with Jillian when I'm feeling that terrible). I'll post regular updates every few days (probably around Days 10 and 20...I won't get excessive with the pictures. BORING.). My abs are my trouble spot and the area I'm most looking to get in shape (that and my upper arms...all the women in my family have inherited the Hilary Duff upper arm, or what we call "The Miller Arm" due to the surname of the women on that side of the family). I'm also following this up with 100 jacknives after every workout. 

Here we go, Jillian! Here we are at Day 4 (and I just washed the mirror so there are streaks on it...forgive please!)
abs day 4

abs day 4

left arm day 4

right arm day 4

(I'm totally bringing back this section from my LiveJournal circa 2004)
Currently listening to: Sail by Awolnation
Currently reading: Annexed by Sharon Dogar
© Anna in Wonderland

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